This Cycle….

This is the place where I will on-going post updates / posts on where I am now, as far as what cycle day it is, waiting to insem, etc. etc.

Today, January 28th, 2012:

I am CD 26.  2 days before AF (ant flow, aka-period) is due.  I have some minor PMS cramps but not really any other physical symptoms (I am knocking on wood so I don’t jinx this).  I don’t feel this last cycle was “the one” but… I have not given up hope on it all together!

Sunday, January 29th….

Today CD 27…. Oddly, as of right now I am not having PMS.  I am really hoping it stays that way!

Tuesday, January 31st–

Well, back to the beginning of yet another cycle.  AF came as scheduled CD 28

FEBRUARY 9TH- CYCLE DAY 11:

Today is CD 11.  I really hate the OPK’s.  Unless you buy the digital ones, it is ridiculous to have to sit and compare the shades of 2 colors to see if your getting your surge!  But- I continue to do it.  Started CD 9, so we will see.  Luckily my cycles are regular so I can usually predict- but the hard part is- when your a person TTC- the “normal” way- you don’t have to monitor this all so much- you can try over and over- on your “fertile dayS” (plural), but when your doing this the untraditional way- well- I have to pick my ONE, MOST fertile day and if I hit it wrong- I’m out for the whole month.  I thought that the more I did it the easier it would be- but I think it actually becomes more frustrating- over analyzing every little symptom and that feeling of knowing that if I pick the wrong day I have to wait a whole other month to try.  But- it is what it is- eye on the prize and all that!

FEBRUARY 11TH-CYCLE DAY 13:

Today is CD 13.  My yesterday OPK was so hard to read.  I “think” it was negative but- it was close! Have not done today yet.  Still trying to decide if I am ‘out’ for this month.  It is Tyler’s birthday today, and, arranging everything to inseminate might be hard over this weekend when I suspect I will ovulate.  So, today’s OPK, done at 9:30pm was positive (I think).  I seriously have to stop with the lined OPK’s and stick with digital- b/c I cannot tell for sure positive/negative.  I guess I will retest tomorrow and if I am still surging, will go ahead & talk to Tyler and decide if I can insem this month- if not I will focus on next month- with hopefully higher chances being I will have had the HSG…

March 10th, 2012—-2 days post insem

2 days post home insem #4 today….  I do know that it is to early for anything to have happened as of yet, and even more so- way to early for me to feel any physical changes, however, I feel different…..  Regardless, I am taking it and running with it because it is easier to do that then to think the other way. 🙂

March 13th, 2012——5 days post insem

5 days since the last insem.  I actually am still feeling good about it.  I have spent alot of time visualizing the fertilization, the turning into a blastocyte and dividing of cells and now I am visualizing the deep implantation in  my uterus I so hope is occuring.  Today is my first therapy appointment, with a Reproductive Health Therapist.  I am nervous about it.  I shouldn’t be, the purpose is to help anxiety but I am.  I am hoping once I am at the appointment I will feel better and feel comfortable with this therapist.  This whole 2 week wait is insane when I think about it.  I mean, with almost anything else- you can find out if something worked, and you can do things to help it work.  But- with this, it either did or didn’t and I have absolutely no way of knowing if it did for the whole two week period.  No wonder I am losing my mind!!

MARCH 14TH–6 DAYS POST HOME INSEM..

Well, I still feel as I did yesterday.  Maybe a little less positive about it because I saw my GYN today and she told me that she didn’t think many sperm were surviving this process to be inseminated….  But- for right now- I am still visualizing this little blastocyte trying to burrow in to the lining of my uterus any time now…..

MARCH 20TH—12 DAYS POST HOME INSEM #4

I am 2-3 days before my period is due.  I have some PMS.  Not to bad but- enough to have me not so optimistic that this last one worked.  I have not given up hope yet though- and I still am visualizing the implantation etc….

MARCH 24TH…. 16 DAYS POST HOME INSEM #4

Well, my period was due Thursday or Friday… nothing as of yet.  I do have period cramps- off and on.  A ton of heartburn- which has woke me up 2 times last night.  Yesterday I had a teeny teeny one time of light pink spotting and since nothing.  Being I have the cramps I am assuming that it is coming- however, I still have the teeniest bit of hope that “blasty” made it!

MARCH 25TH….I’M OUT THIS CYCLE..

Unmedicated home insemination number 4 failed.  As much as I cannot wrap my head around the idea that I will EVER be pregnant, I am still left feeling sad with this huge loss.  Clomid here I come.  I am CD1- start on day 3.

ATTEMPT # 5: BEGINS CD1 (MARCH 25TH, 2012)—-FIRST MEDICATED CYCLE

AF: March 25, 26, 27, 28, 29. (CD1-5)

Clomid: 50mg CD 3-7 (March 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, April 1, 2)

Follicle ultrasound CD12 (April 5th).  3 follie’s (One 22.1; One 11 point something; One 13 or 15 point something).

HCG Trigger: CD12 April 5th, 8pm.

Insem #5: Friday, April 6th 9pm (CD13)

Ovulation- Believed to be early Saturday, April 7th-CD14

CD15 (April 8th–Easter): still mild ov pains but milder then previous days…. not much else going on.  Moody-feeling weepy without actually weeping (LOL)…Second guessing EVERYthing.

CD17 (April 10th)4 days post insem:  Still moody/weepy–aka-cRaZy!!. Not many physical symptoms going on- only thing is I have what feel like very early PMS cramps, or ov pain- however, it can’t be either- so I am hoping that the twinges I am feeling is blasto (what I have nick-named this potential baby to be) movin’ on through my tubes into my uterus about to snuggle in deeply and implant!  Oh- and of course- still second guessing EVERYthing.

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